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ManaSakura
I don't visit this site anymore. I've grown out of it.

Age 20, Female

Manila, Philippines

Joined on 10/29/12

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Why... (Depression issues, not gonna tell, too deep)

Posted by ManaSakura - September 12th, 2015


I don't deserve to live.

I'm a freak.

No friends.

Abused.

A slave.

A pathetic human being.

A waste of air.

I'm a loner.

I wanna die.

I wanna commit suicide.

I don't want to see the living daylight again.

 

I hope nobody comments on this because they deserve a freak like me to die and don't care about me dying.


Comments

Oh dear,what's wrong?

I promised my mom that I would do something special for my dad's birthday but ended up not doing it and cut myself.

@Legodude2000 The clincher is WHAT is causing these problems. Depression cannot wish them away. Saying someone is weak and pathetic is only going to aggravate their suicidal tendencies. I know. I'm going through precisely the same despite any purported great thing that I do. Being tactless is NOT warranted right now.

@ManaSakura, I'm fighting against the same thoughts as you. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. There are people who do care about you, however few. It may not seem like much, but we want you to flourish. To thrive. Let us fight this depression together.

Thanks senpai.

Here's a suicide hot line. When you're feeling that way inclined, ring it. There are always going to be people there for you.
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/philippines-suicide-hotlines.html

Thanks. I'll make sure to ring it.

You know,it's alright if you didn't have a present of your loved one's birthday as the greatest gift to your family is yourself.It'll hurt them more to see you hurt yourself and believe me,your parents' greatest happiness is YOU,so how would you think that make them feel if they saw you doing this to yourself?I missed my parents' birthdays for years now but I can tell you,they are happy that I am there,your parents must feel the same way too.

This is weakness. The only true weakness of human beings is self doubt. I haven't known you that long, so I can't vouch for much, but I can definitely tell you that you're stronger than this. Weakness is what you make of it. All human life is precious, and is worth fighting for. To insinuate that you would rather roll over and die than overcome your self doubt disgusts me. I don't like admitting this, but I was once like this. One morning I woke up and took a good look at myself. I looked at the cuts, the blood and I thought, "I DON'T WANT THIS." I tore down all my issues and made myself stronger. I decided that no matter how bad things got, I would never break. I live by that creed. I'm much stronger now than I ever could have been then.

I want you to follow my lead. I want you to lift your head up and power through anything in your way. If you manage that, the reward is greater than any material thing you could ever imagine. You will be granted relief. The only thing that matters is inner strength. I learned that, and I want you to learn it as well. All pain is temporary, no matter how horrid it may be.

Make your own tomorrow for yourself.

- <3

I know that feeling, I have it every day, we all feel depressed, but some of us (you & me, etc.)take it to the extreme, but the world forced me to live, so here I am...

honestly.. i just hate my whole appearance, there's nothing good about me
and my friends are too good for me and that makes me feel worse..
but this is how life goes, no one said life is fair, we just gotta live it this way, even if sometimes we have no reason to live another day, we just gotta do it for the people who care about us